Finally here

Babygirl, our sweet little princess is finally here. She is already 9 days old :).

Ms Ooi Jia Qi. It has been quite a difficult delivery, not physically but emotionally. Granny passed away on Wesak Day, 17th May, 3 days before I delivered. I still feel the pain and tears up automatically each time I think of her. Of cos, of both grannies, I am closer to Penang one. Dad told me today that she kept asking mum when am I delivering. Sigh, I wish she had the chance to meet her 1st great grandchild.

Mum then got hospitalised 1 week after granny passed away, and till today has not met Qiqi yet. I never needed mum so much before, I really wanted her to be with me during the delivery and confinement, she is after all the person who knows me in and out and always love me no matter what. She is truly my pillar of strength.

I don't want to be selfish hence I asked her to come back only when she is truly well although I miss her terribly. I need to be strong for Qiqi, I need to be a good mummy for my little one... but god knows deep down inside I feel so painful. I will bring Qiqi to see granny and pray once Qiqi is a little bit older, although granny is no longer around, but I'm sure she's blessing us from above.

First few days post delivery, I was so tired and emotional. Hubby was there all along but I felt that he did not really understood me. (why am I writing as though he has no access to this blog? LOL)... Until now I feel kinda distance from him, I tried to be passionate, hugging n kissing him, but somehow he is not very responsive. Maybe he is tired, maybe there is less love or passion? I don't know. All I know is that I really hope he can be more appreciative at this moment, I am not only a mother now, I am still a wife.

But I kept reassuring myself, he loves me loads, else he wouldn't help me, care for me, help out at night, support my breastfeeding. Maybe it's just my hormones playing games on me.

I know life will never ever be the same again, I can never ever go to bed carefree, for I will always have another human being in my thoughts. I used to tell people I love my pet, Baby like a child, and when they don't understand, I told them, they wouldn't understand because they never had a pet. I guess deep down inside they must have been thinking, poor girl, U will never understand cos u never have a child yet.

Having a child, an offspring you share with your other half is the most amazing thing can ever happen to a woman, it ranks at no 1 while a perfect wedding ranks at no 2. I am so fortunate to have both, without really working hard tor trying too hard. I am married to the man I love (as time passes by, I realise that I love him more and more, a different kind of unconditional love which I don't know how to express) and I have no doubt he is my soulmate (if such thing does exist). And now without trying as hard as other people, I have a sweet little princess, which I have fallen in love at 1st sight with.

Qiqi is a sweetheart, only cries when she has poo poo or pee pee or hungry. My heart aches when I saw her in the phototherapy treatment for jaundice, and I couldn't help myself so I cried in front of all the nurses and walked away, as I really couldn't bring myself to watch my baby crying under the photolight.

She is the only thing that keeps me going n being strong for now. I love u Qiqi...

Babygirl - mummy's lil pwincess

babygirl.. its already early april.. and mummy is getting anxious and nervous to see u. i know i will fall in love at 1st sight once i set my eyes on u. can't believe i'm finally becoming a mother.. and it really feels like i've grown up so much more in the past 6 or 7 months than i ever had previously. having u also makes mummy fall in love n appreciate ur daddy more.. he truly is the right one for us isn't he? so sweet n loving.. making mummy love him more n more. babygirl.. do take care of urself ok until u r out here with mummy n then let mummy take care of u for the rest of ur life. i love u already pwincess babygirl!!

Daddy n Mommy

2 more mths before our little baby girl comes into this world... it has been a smooth pregnancy thank god... with ur love n care =) I really couldn't hope for more than what I have right now. I love u darling...

Can U Believe It??

Yes.. we have been married since 10th Jan 2010... unbelievable how time passes by...

first post from my darling's iPhone

I'm here darling:) this is the first post posted from darling's iphone. I love you so damn much!

Where r u???

sux la... get me liao no need to update blog is it? i love u darling!! LVOE YUOOOO

Half empty or half full?

Since I got the call from my ex colleague abt Jhay... I feel that anything and anyone can leave anytime...

What touched me the most was ur understanding... u didn't ask me anything but jst hugged me as I cried. I'm glad to have found such an understanding man... who knows when exactly I need ur hug... and today... u came all d way to see me for lunch... almost feels like the beginning of our relationship when everything was flowery and nice...

Thank you dear... for u have been most wonderful lately... I will work hard to keep it that way... I love you...