Day 1

There was nothing much to do at work... maybe I was just feeling kinda down to do much... mindfucking myself again... doing some comparison between my dear's past and present...

Just feel like knocking my own head sometimes... why do I let something that happened so long ago and before u met me get to me so much...

I kept reminding myself... what we share now means much much more... now that we are both more matured... and we are both so willingly to commit 100% to each other. If things with our pasts were so great.. it wudnt be left in the past... and this applies to me too...

Was chatting with both my exes... the 3 yrs one and the 7 mths one... both of them messaged me first. The 3 yrs one is still trying to get over his heart ache... he's over me... but he's jst not over the fact that he got hurted by someone... he's 29 this yr... maybe after calming his broken heart for 4-5 yrs.. he shud be at ur age and meet his special someone.

The 7 mths jerk has met someone new... suprisingly her name starts with E, she's my height and is very much like me. Rebound or fate? I don't even wanna find out....

All this mindfucking tears my heart apart... my hand was shivering cold and my heart was beating so fast... took a walk to the ladies and sat on the toilet throne and just thought to myself... hey... if everything goes well... we will be husband and wife in months... what past and what failed love can fight with that?

Darling I know I have been less than understanding sometimes... I hear what u say but refuse to hear you... I'm never ever gonna give u the u are too good for me therefore I dont deserve u kinda talk...

I deserve u and u deserve me... I'll just learn to appreciate you more and never ever give u a reason to walk away or give myself a reason to walk away. Darl... breaking up or divorce is not an option to us yea...

I miss you so damn much it feels like I lost a part of me... the heart feels empty and I just wanna go to bed at 9pm so that tomoro comes faster... and Thursday comes faster... I just don't want you to know how much I am missing you right now... don't want u to feel disturbed and not able to concentrate on ur work...

Darling I am so proud to be your girlfriend... and your loyal partner... I love u so much...

Gonna get a drink n get sleepy... until tomoro comes... missin u loads....