I'm sorry

I'm sorry for doubting you.

Dear mermaid...

"You aren't going to be his 1st, his last, or his only... he’s loved before; he will love again. But if he loves you now, what else matters? He’s not perfect - you’re not either. If he can make you laugh and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He’s not going to be thinking about you every moment of the day, but he will give you a part of him that he knows YOU can break - his heart. So don’t hurt him, don’t change him, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than he can give. Smile when he makes you happy, let him know when he makes you mad and miss him when he’s not there. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always ONE guy that is perfect for you."

Reposting this to remind myself again and again not to give up during this tough time. To remind myself to enjoy the journey rather than to hope to reach the destination. To remind myself of all u have done... all d happiness we shared... and again... to remind myself not to give up...

For my sibeh sui bor

I just miss you so much, being away from you so so far away make me really miss your hugs
miss arguing with you :-P
miss can't help smilling when just after I drop you off and you get off my car, close the car door and when you look toward me... thinking you can't stop looking at me... until I realise you wasn't actually looking at me but you are just looking at your own reflection on the car glass windows admiring your own beauty... it's just crack me up :P hahaha... well this isn't a romantic way of putting things, but I really tickle me in a nice simple way and I miss you even more and it's just so nice to have the feeling of being love. Know for sure, even from a far, even being physically far a part, I am already own, I am already complete.
Knowing when I am being screwed by customer here due to some problem with the system, even it's not totally our fault and yet just has to take the blame, just the thought of you, the thought of having you love me, make all this shit bearable. I just so love you darling, my wifey!!!! I love you!!! I love you!!!! I love you!!!!

Dua Pui Ang dearest...

When things get so tough...
and all I wanna do is give up...
I think about how u always make me laugh...
With your fat belly and your smelly fart...

Thanks for every little wonderful things you have done for me... taking care of me... sharing your life with me and most of all... loving me...

I couldn't have smiled so wide and laughed so hard if it wasn't for you.

I love you hubby... now, future and eternally my hubby...

True Love...

Find arms that will hold you at your weakest, eyes that will see you at your ugliest, lips that will kiss you in both instances, and a heart that will love you at your worst. Only then will you have found your true love...

Day 1

There was nothing much to do at work... maybe I was just feeling kinda down to do much... mindfucking myself again... doing some comparison between my dear's past and present...

Just feel like knocking my own head sometimes... why do I let something that happened so long ago and before u met me get to me so much...

I kept reminding myself... what we share now means much much more... now that we are both more matured... and we are both so willingly to commit 100% to each other. If things with our pasts were so great.. it wudnt be left in the past... and this applies to me too...

Was chatting with both my exes... the 3 yrs one and the 7 mths one... both of them messaged me first. The 3 yrs one is still trying to get over his heart ache... he's over me... but he's jst not over the fact that he got hurted by someone... he's 29 this yr... maybe after calming his broken heart for 4-5 yrs.. he shud be at ur age and meet his special someone.

The 7 mths jerk has met someone new... suprisingly her name starts with E, she's my height and is very much like me. Rebound or fate? I don't even wanna find out....

All this mindfucking tears my heart apart... my hand was shivering cold and my heart was beating so fast... took a walk to the ladies and sat on the toilet throne and just thought to myself... hey... if everything goes well... we will be husband and wife in months... what past and what failed love can fight with that?

Darling I know I have been less than understanding sometimes... I hear what u say but refuse to hear you... I'm never ever gonna give u the u are too good for me therefore I dont deserve u kinda talk...

I deserve u and u deserve me... I'll just learn to appreciate you more and never ever give u a reason to walk away or give myself a reason to walk away. Darl... breaking up or divorce is not an option to us yea...

I miss you so damn much it feels like I lost a part of me... the heart feels empty and I just wanna go to bed at 9pm so that tomoro comes faster... and Thursday comes faster... I just don't want you to know how much I am missing you right now... don't want u to feel disturbed and not able to concentrate on ur work...

Darling I am so proud to be your girlfriend... and your loyal partner... I love u so much...

Gonna get a drink n get sleepy... until tomoro comes... missin u loads....

A letter to myself

Dear mermaid...

"You aren't going to be his 1st, his last, or his only... he’s loved before; he will love again. But if he loves you now, what else matters? He’s not perfect - you’re not either. If he can make you laugh and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He’s not going to be thinking about you every moment of the day, but he will give you a part of him that he knows YOU can break - his heart. So don’t hurt him, don’t change him, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than he can give. Smile when he makes you happy, let him know when he makes you mad and miss him when he’s not there. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always ONE guy that is perfect for you."

Darling... you are my perfect guy.... love you and gonna miss you while u are away... I'll be good... pwomise =)